#movingtarget

alvos desde sempre

porque não hegemônicos

corpos reclassificados

incômodos

inconformes

marginais seculares

preto

feminino

não-binário

trans

intersexual

refugiado

positivo

imigrado

expulso

indígena

.

sacrificado

.

Mas em movimento!

.

Body Work and conception: Alberto Pereira Jr. @albertopereirajr
Body Art: DIG Ferreira @digferreira
Images: Flavio Melgarejo @ffmelgarejo


See also, by Alberto Pereira Jr:

#ELE

Please, touch me (PT/EN)

hiv / art / establishment (#1)

[*The pink elephant image is borrowed from a Facebook intervention made by Niki Singleton and Todd Lanier Lester several years ago called Coming out of the Web 2.0 Closet.]

There is definitely an HIV art establishment. I have met it in a few forms over the first 3/4 of Luv ’til it Hurts, a two-year project that also aspires to elicit a few forms. In fact, I guess this broad ‘establishment’ may have factored into the form of LUV in the first place. I am an artist who works in organizational or immaterial form now for almost twenty-years. This can also be other things at the same time, like ‘site specific’ as was Lanchonete.org or a field-invading ‘sea change’ as I hoped freeDimensional would become. For the purposes of this field note, I would say that content or theme or issue inform the form(s) that are aimed for. LUV aspires to forge a philanthropic device (or mechanism) that can be taken and used freely at the end of the two-year process, which will be around July 2020 and when it is fully explained. I also think that style, affect and notions of gesture inform ‘forms’. In my own practice I understand that these styles, affects and attempts at gesture can be rehearsed over years and in different contexts. 

This explanation should pick up pace around February 14 2020. And, hopefully LUV will keep going in unimagined ways after its official ‘end date’ in July 2020. Here I want to talk about the philanthropic device (of things); however if you would like to see how LUV is also research, take a peek here in How LUV is research, in part (Part 1).

I was working for the blackberry foundation. It uses a clever name to suggest artist support, and indeed it does do things with artists. In Portuguese blackberries are a part of the broader group of ‘frutas vermelhas’ (or red fruits). So, yeah it’s a bit confusing to work for a social art, money-giving outfit that turns out to have a charred, atrophied heart. I read this great quote which I’ll cite when I find it again (it’s on a piece of paper I picked up at Bard a few years ago at T’s graduation) that goes something like, ‘it is the institutions of our life that hurt us.’ 

This idea of pain provision fits a de Certeau-esque mode of seeing organizations and institutions (from The Practices of Everyday Life). And for sure my response of making a ‘philanthropic device’ for two years while also mourning this particular ‘blackberry’ engagement does constitute form for me and (if I understand correctly) a ‘tactic’ in de Certeau-esque terms. The foundation ‘strategized’ upon me, and talking about it (writing about it) is my humble ‘tactic’ in response. I liken this tactic to a meeting in NYC in January this year when I broke down crying amidst a mild argument amongst colleagues from two different organizations. There were a few reasons to cry. It was for all of them, including the uncomfortable position I was being put in by my colleagues. One allowing the other to chide me while knowing that there were more details involved, and some of which were not on me. To call out these details would only make the argument more ‘hot’ and so I just let myself have a good cry. It resulted in a sorta prayer circle with my two colleagues, which, hey, worked for me.

However, the smaller actions (in fields of production, publishing, editing, grant-raising and re-distributing, curating, administrating, criticizing and so forth) that comprise the Luv ’til it Hurts project’s two-year calendar of milestones, well those are more related to the topic or theme of HIV and stigma and are meant to be performed for quality and mutual value. 

In fact in many ways what I knew how to do for the blackberry crew is what I know how to do for the LUV project. The Cidade Queer project is an example of a Lanchonete.org ‘episode’ and multiply-curated (as was the curatorial ‘bringing of’ Publication Studio to São Paulo) during the period of my foundation engagement. During this multi-year, contractual engagement, I was called a few things, such as Director of Partnerships. I have an immersive practice, which I term durational. This is most nuanced perhaps for Lanchonete.org, the five-year project on the right to the city from a lunch counter in São Paulo. So while immersed in (um) São Paulo and Lanchonete.org as a ‘container’ of produced ideas questioning the right to the city (in different ways through a collective approach) I was also in business with this blackberry foundation, and therefore sharing my immersive tendencies between two big projects that were choreographed to intersect at times. I also did things outside of Lanchonete.org yet in Brasil and many more things for the project internationally. I was helping them start an online publication thats about arts, everywhere (in the world). Having over 20 years experience making art, and producing that of others all over the world made me qualified to help such an artist-centered online publication, which would be the signature new project of the foundation. Its branding and brand awareness would grow to merge with that of the cleverly-named foundation. In true immersive fashion, I opened up channels of info and knowledge and connections to the already well-equipped foundation. I mean I doubt I was essential for this project, but in that I was invited to help as an internationally-networked artist to build such a concept. Well, things grew to be indelibly bound (up) quite quickly. While I do not claim that I was the lifeblood of the project, I do claim to have helped breath life–vital life–into the idea for publishing arts, everywhere. I recognize my signature on and inside the project to promote arts, everywhere.

The lawyer on the board of the outfit, the one who visited our multiply-curated projects in São Paulo and who has long worked on AIDS-related art she informed me. She did let me know to be careful in using the name of the foundation after I was let go. I do know that lawyers yield a certain power, so I will heed her warning. When I think of the blackberry foundation, I see red. So, you can imagine how the Portuguese translation imbibes me just a little. Frutas. Vermelhas. The LUV site is red, but I have failed to find a direct reference to anything except familiarity with organizational and institutional ‘seeing red’.

The other staffer allowed me to show him around Dakar, a city I’ve grown to know rather well since I went there the first time for Dak’Art 2006 with my ex-wife. I was performing some official duties for Res Artis on whose board I served. On the 2017 site visit to Dakar, the other staffer bemoaned the challenge of getting another $20 million transferred over from the donors to the foundation. He feared that the son would be a factor. I didn’t need much more context to understand his trials and tribulations. We were laying by the pool in a fairly plush hotel spread. Maybe I helped him buy gifts in the market. I enjoy bartering with the merchants and love to see the crafts and art work and old flea market finds out in the African capital street. I once bought someone’s stamp collection in the weekend market of Bangui out in front of the church, not so far from where the students burned tires on the day I flew back to Yaoundé. I had finished the condom commercial in both French and Sango in various media (TV spot, radio spot, photography potential for billboard usage). I had swooned over Lumumba (oops, I mean Eriq Ebouaney) in the hotel lobby. Bassek ba Kobhio let me tag along in similar ways as Eric Kabera and Imruh Bakari would later. I had a thing for African and Third Cinema and I suppose my curiosity was operational. Like picture white geek wanting to know something from black intellectual. My intentions were genuine and oft worked. Since there is really no other way to tell you that I once shared a taxi with Nicolas Cazalé in Ougadougou when Le Grand Voyage was premiering at FESPACO, I will do so here. My coming out was a long and arduous journey of star crushes. However, I only started starfucking in earnest when watching Hugh Dancy dance with a Tutsi woman at a backyard evening party during the filming of ‘Shooting Dogs’, and again more recently with LUV

My wife and I were living with Jay in the capital of Cameroon in this period, and I would travel for work in the region. Sometimes we would travel together as we did to East Legon (Accra) to help set up the Academy of Screen Arts. We worked at the first AIDS conference in Durban as volunteers and would later present a poster on our AIDS/HIV related work (in Cameroon) at the Barcelona AIDS conference a few years later. Sometimes she would travel first for work and I would tag along. This was the case in both Rwanda and Sudan. My hometown newspaper, the Cannon Courier said we were missionaries in an article after we first went to Cameroon for the Peace Corps. I can assure you we were not!

Cameroon is rather accessible in the center of São Paulo by way of a few African eateries that cater to frequent new waves of African / Diaspora arrivals to the city. The Burkinabe experience (and perhaps Abdoulaye’s) is a bit different than that of Nigerians, Senegalese, Haitians and Cameroonians. The rougher Cameroonian bar near Arouche, that’s where Edgar and I went the other night. Manu told me he was kicked out for kissing a guy there, which perversely excited me. However, Edgar and I would not be kissing. We sat with some female patrons. We chatted with others and along the way Edgar became a bit startled. As we walked away, we stopped at the next bar to discuss the mise-en-scène we’d just passed thru.

My wife and I were already back in NYC (and me at the New School) when Christopher called from Rwanda to tell us that Jay drowned off the coast of South Africa. I had caught Jay once at a house party when I saw his eyes roll back, signaling the onset of an epileptic fit. Once Thom’s boyfriend Ben got his finger caught in Jay’s mouth thinking that there was a risk of him swallowing his tongue. Jay told him after that this is physically impossible. Jay suffered a head injury once in Morocco when falling down a few steps in his apartment. I have a volcanic rock from Goma somewhere (I know I kept it) that Jay gave me when CRS sent him from Yaoundé to the DRC for volcano aid atop other years of humanitarian disaster. Our long-time friend, Brad who had met Jay in Cameroon heard from him when he was in S. Africa. Maybe I can share what he said in that final email here:

>> > Subject: long time…from Jason
>> > …..
>> > So now I_m in South Africa.  I_m going to finish
>> up
>> > some final reports this week and then head around
>> the
>> > country visiting some friends that I haven_t seen
>> for
>> > a while.  I_ll head to Mozambique from here.  All
>> in
>> > all, I_ve got about 6 weeks to play with, and
>> would
>> > like to spend a chunk of it on the beach.  I
>> figured
>> > that Malawi would be a bit sad to visit these days
>> > with the famine going on.  I_ll just have to make
>> it
>> > there next time.  In any case, I can learn to
>> Scuba
>> > dive in Mozambique the same as I can in Malawi, so
>> I
>> > am looking forward to it.  My sister also has a
>> couple
>> > of friends that I know living there.  So I_ll stop
>> by
>> > and visit them.  There is some hiking that I_ve
>> been
>> > meaning to do as well.  I_m starting to get really
>> > excited about this.  It_s been a while since I_ve
>> been
>> > backpacking or hiking.  I had hoped to start on
>> this a
>> > bit sooner, but even now I_m finishing up the
>> work, so
>> > there wasn_t too much chance of getting done
>> sooner.
>> > But 6 weeks will be better than 5, which certainly
>> is
>> > better than 4.

But back to the blackberry foundation and the HIV establishment. I helped conceive large program ideas that focused on different facets of HIV, such as but not limited to Cidade Queer in partnership with the blackberry foundation. I forgot my meds on a trip, one of eight I made with or for the foundation in 2017. When my ‘life breathing’ services contract was nearing its end (aligned w/ the 2017 year-end), I asked for an incidental raise to account for the growing workload and to cover travel insurance. In so doing I disclosed my HIV status to the organization. I was dismissed from the outfit (and my various titles such as Partnership Director) rather quickly after this point, sometime in September 2017. I had flown to Canada to attend the Creative Time Summit where Queer City had a book and film launch; something in the Maritimes; and Primary Colors, an indigenous artist and first nation leaders summit out in BC. I was invited to things like the Maritimes big art convening on my own artistic credentials and merit (I assert), but all such trips would want to have one of the various foundation titles co-branded alongside my name, and naturally so. I allowed this. This was a symbiosis that at times worked out well for me over the ten years of knowing the outfit. And in turn I gave my ‘all’ to the making of this new face or new phase of the outfit’s existence. I counted the other staffer as someone who would lay by the pool with me in Dakar (where I ran into this other Todd I know); someone who would host my husband when he passed through the guy’s city to meet me on a work trip; someone who wouldn’t get weird on me whenever I decided to disclose my HIV status. And, yet things got really weird for me. 

Somewhere along that rocky patch of understanding the foundation no longer needed me, and within close enough chronology to my disclosure that (and given no other justification) it stands to reason HIV was somehow involved. I make projects that I really care about. I mix things for different results. I would not have wanted so easily to be severed from the HIV-related projects I was helping or had come up with for the foundation. No, that would have hurt very bad. That these projects continue in some ways is not a bad thing. No, as I said some did not bear my ideation. For some I was to incorporate them into exchange and site-specific work from São Paulo. I wasn’t forced though, no it was collegial work that I was paid for, as an artist… from here, there and ‘everywhere’. Ok, I’ll give an example. An art space in Brasil is going to do a pedagogic /school year in Athens during a big art event. A series of writing is commissioned from its international cast of ‘participants’. It is arranged by me with the head of the art space, and implemented by another Brasilian friend who happens to be a participant of the intervention. I am glad those pieces exist.

I thought I was building a year or two more-future with the outfit. It was even discussed. But instead I was pushed out rather quickly. Let’s say it had nothing to do with HIV, or like the foundation just wanted to work on HIV but not have a poz staffer. Seems like the other staffer would have waited a bit to let me go. Seems like he wouldn’t have wanted to keep the other staffers I trained for him. I mean if something was wrong, all major decisions I made for the outfit would be called into question, right? Like what if they were infected by my style or what I consider to be signature. Signature style? Gosh, that’s high-concept, and–ya know–art is different, everywhere. 

So, like, maybe the establishment was right there .. in that morass. When I first opened the LUV project, a young artist told me that a curator wanted to know if I was poz. Since I assumed the young artist had told him I am, I just considered what a ‘pink elephant’ disclosure and the ‘hot stuff’ around it would become throughout the LUV project. I have more to say on this, so maybe I’ll write a book about the pink elephants of participatory art, in methodological terms (that would be pretty cool), or maybe I’ll pursue my new stickering career and fahgettaboudit. I’ll let you know.

Dora Não Cansou de Viver… [A film in the making]

[Emanuel Brauna-Lechat is a filmmaker from Maceió. ‘Dora Não Cansou de Viver…’ is a short film about many things, including access to healthcare and the precarity of daily life in Brasil. Manu needs some help finishing the film before April 7th, World Health Day 2020. One simple way to share holiday cheer (and some dough) is by giving to his crowdfunding campaign on Catarse, which supports the final film shoot in late February. xo, Todd]

T: Hi Manu. It’s been so nice getting to see you more lately since the Somos meetings at Tapera Taperá bar. And, I really like the bar, so now I have this ‘instant’ new hang out. Please send me your work hours each week when you get them so that I may follow along:)))

It’s a particularly dark moment in Brazilian history, wouldn’t you say?

E: Brazil is currently going through an, in fact, very worrisome moment for its public policy, in a general sense. In culture, one of the most affected sectors in this current government, we have (quietly) witnessed systematic cuts of rights that had been acquired by society throughout the years. See, for example, the welfare reforms that do not favor workers at all, the veto of the demarcation of indigenous lands, the extinction of the ministry of labor and culture, among other arbitrary determinations. I would say that we are living in a period of total social retrocession. 

O Brasil vive, de fato, um momento bastante preocupante na política pública de um modo geral, sendo a cultura, um dos setores mais afetados pelo atual governo, temos testemunhado( quietos) cortes sistemáticos de direitos adquiridos pela sociedade ao longo dos anos, vide reforma previdenciária, que nada favorece o trabalhador, veto das demarcações das áreas indígenas, extinção dos ministérios do trabalho e cultura, entre outras determinações arbitrárias. Eu diria que estamos vivendo um período de total retrocesso social.

T: Have you seen the film, Bacurau yet? I saw it at Lincoln Center with like a 1000 lefty Brazilians in the audience. Rsrs:)  So this theme of the sertão is coming up now a lot in Brasil and in Brasilian cultural production. I’m doing some writing on this, but for now I wanna bounce a question to you. What is your film about and why is it important now?

E: I watched Bacurau and define it as one of the most important works of national cinema in the last decades, a work that puts us before our role as citizens. We are put in a position of action in a brilliant way, it is impossible to leave the film without being touched and transformed as the social elements that we are.

My film follows a different line of narrative, however, the essence and the goals are the same. DORA NÃO CANSOU DE VIVER… tells the story of the struggle of an elderly lady who is black, a mother, and the widow of a handicapped man who depended on her for everything. With her retirement pension, she has to support herself and still cover the costs of her lung cancer treatment, which evolves tragically. This is the first layer of the film, what one sees with the naked eye. However, the true story is told at its second layer, where we have the presence of an invisible and implacable enemy, THE STATE. On the other hand, it is a film that opens up doors and gives visibility to actors who are black, who have motor disabilities, and who are over 60 years of age. For this reason I consider it socially important.

Vi Bacurau e o defino como uma das obras mais importantes do cinema nacional das últimas décadas, uma obra que nos coloca diante de nosso papel enquanto cidadãos , de forma brilhante somos colocados num lugar de ação, é impossível sair do filme sem sermos tocados e transformados enquanto elementos sociais que somos.O meu filme segue uma linha narrativa diferente, todavia, a essência e os objetivos são os mesmos. DORA NÃO CANSOU DE VIVER… conta a história de luta de uma idosa, negra e mãe viúva de um desabilitado físico que depende dela para tudo, com sua aposentadoria ela tem que se manter e ainda custear o tratamento do câncer de pulmão que evolui tragicamente. Esta é a primeira camada do filme, o que se vê a olho nu, porém, a verdadeira história é contada na segunda camada, onde temos a presença de um vilão invisível e implacável, O ESTADO. Por outro lado é um filme que abre portas e dá visibilidade a atores negros, portadores de desabilidades motoras e com mais de 60 anos, por este motivo o considero socialmente importante.

T: So, you are an artist I take it? What has been your road to filmmaking? And is this your first film?

E: I consider myself a humanitarian artist, committed to social welfare. I have a discreet style of representing conflicts, almost silent, but always with a lot of density, I am an artist of layers.

I started to become professionally interested in cinema in 2010, and from then on I have been through a lot of books, courses and workshops on the theme. During film school I produced some short films and later participated in several friends’ projects, in a variety of roles. As a director, DORA NÃO CANSOU DE VIVER… will be my debut work, and currently, I am also working on the development of my first feature-length film, entitled OCEÂNICO.

Me considero um artista humanitário, comprometido com o bem-estar social. Tenho um estilo discreto de apresentar os conflitos, quase silencioso, mas sempre com muita densidade, sou um artista de camadas. Comecei a me interessar profissionalmente por cinema em 2010, de lá pra cá foram muitos livros, cursos e workshops sobre o tema. Durante a escola de cinema produzi alguns curtas-metragens e posteriormente participei de diversos projetos de amigos nas mais variadas funções. Como diretor, DORA NÃO CANSOU DE VIVER… será meu trabalho de estréia, atualmente, também estou trabalhando no desenvolvimento do meu primeiro longa, entitulado OCEÂNICO.

T: Lastly, is there any way we can help? Like can we see a teaser or contribute to your crowdfunding campaign?

E: I created a CROWDFUNDING to make it possible to fund the movie, and asides from contributing, the supporters will also be able to see a teaser of the film, made exclusively for its promotion.

Criei um CROWDFUNDING para viabilização do projeto, além de contribuir, os apoiadores poderão ver um teaser do filme feito exclusivamente para divulgação.

______________

See also: Emanuel Brauna-Lechat interviews Momô de Oliveira #LPW2020

Some tenets of Elpenor thought (part 2)

[* For the LUV site, this is part two of a set. Let’s call it the Elpenor Set. See part one, here.]

1) It never ceases to baffle and amaze me whenever an association between Elpenor – a decidedly minor character in Homer’s Odyssey – and an idea of methodology crops up in my presence. Akin to being caught midfall (pants down). It is a kinship that plunges me from a secure apex, a terrace (a spacing out) of experience into abstraction, the amplest of falls, towards the world. One thinks [during the fall]: what exactly is a methodology? What is it made of, what are its parameters? Solid and well-built as the Achaen ships, wouldn’t a methodology forcefully entail global applicability – or, better still, isn’t the efficaciousness of any given methodology ultimately tested in and by socially intricate contexts? Elpenor translated, carried over into a methodology. For me, it seems startingly easy to squash a methodology: one minor incoherence is enough, one dicey corner, one false move. It seems to me even easier to destruct a model. If, on the one hand, I am capable of recognizing Elpenor’s potential as a “conceptual character” such as the ones presented by Deleuze and Guattari in “What is Philosophy?”; if I am able to interpret him as a body of diligences and prescriptions – a sort of lens through which the world into which we are falling is simultaneously sought after, a world that grows more and more clear-cut as we approach the asphalt –, it is also my innermost guess that an identical link could be established between a certain postural inclination and the harmless Choreocampa elpenor caterpillar, one of the mimetic insects listed by Caillois in his Man, Play & Games. The caterpillar in question, if perceived to be threatened, operates in itself a physical mutation termed terrifying by the author; in taking upon itself the likeness of a serpent, it manages to fend off lizards and small birds. Through an act of camouflage, a momentary absence from “self”, the caterpillar postpones its death. The analogy doesn’t seem that far-fetched once we take into consideration that both beings have developed (evolved) strategies to go unnoticed – in the mythical world and in the natural world. Were it not the case, how else could we justify Elpenor’s survival through so many dangers – a character repeatedly referred to as inept at warfare and somewhat dumb? Both Elpenor and the caterpillar that echoes his name help compose a gallery of beings unfairly flattened into the singular episodes they are at the forefront of – in most cases, episodes taking place in other people’s lives – the predator’s, the hero’s – in a supposedly general circumstance that divorces the hero, the “true” virtuous hero, from all those who surround him; characters which seem to exist solely in relation to a stilled organizational nexus oft emblemed by a protagonist who is in some way exceptional. I think of counter- types such as Bartleby, the scrivener – the Incredible Shrinking Man – and finally Jepthe’s daughter, an anonymous character from the Hebrew Bible who seems to serve the single purpose of illustrating a most dubious idea of sacrifice. Characters about whom we know next to nothing; characters we know just enough about, however, so as to feel compelled to side with them, to defend their opacity.

2) Since moving to São Paulo, I have been supporting myself mostly by
ministering a workshop devised a few years ago called Exercises in the Other. Originally comprised of five sessions, but congenial to contractions and dilations according to my interlocutors’ agendas, it consists of a series of activities in the course of which I seek to send the enrollees back to the idea of a mythical, non-historical past as well as towards a notion of “deep futurity” which can be thought of almost as mythically as what we conventionally refer to as the “Homeric World”. I usually begin – and this is as good a time as any to explain that we are not talking about classes here in the strict sense; rather group dynamics, communal readings, outbursts of “savage hermeneutics” and guided discussions around which chaos seems to be constantly lurking – aiming at redacting a handful of notes that, once shared in a non-hostile environment amid equally interested interlocutors, might eventually resolve themselves into text – I usually begin by telling the story of Elpenor. The importance of orality here could hardly be minimized, but we do resort to texts throughout the sessions whenever the occasion calls for it. I tell them the story of Elpenor and ask them to tell that same story to someone else. With this is mind, we attempt to position ourselves individually in relation to concepts as virtually unsaturable as myth, epopee, heroism. The important thing is, in this inaugural moment, that people put forward their own version of the tale, their own perversion, that they relay and recirculate this particular “type”, trying to secure it some sort of afterlife, or at least a life beyond the one episode it is most commonly known for. A most striking correlate of the communal mindset we attempt to achieve is the respect and the sense of responsibility that seems to stem organically in relation to the texts, as though these poems commenced in a workshop context were indeed the only ones to survive a possible global catastrophe. I ask then, to put it shortly, for Elpenor to be displaced to the center of a foundational narrative, so we might try and come up with texts of consequence and political resonance not so much thematically, but political in the sense that these might eventually compose the mythological matrix of a polis yet to come. I invite all interlocutors to imagine what a sociality would be like if it were held together by unheroic myths. What worlds can spring from an Elpenor-foundation, as opposed to an Achilles or an Odysseus-foundation?

3) In “Notes on the Cinematographer”, a book by French filmmaker Robert Bresson, we come across a maxim that is extremely impressive, just, precise and, so to say, “true”: “To respect man’s nature without wishing it more palpable than it is”. No other filmmaker – save for Chantal Akerman – could ever have chanced an adaptation of Melville’s novella – in all cinematic adaptations I have had the occasion of watching, it is precisely Bartleby’s “impalpability” cinema shies away from in terror. It is a fun exercise for me, trying to envision what these two filmmakers might have done to Elpenor. Certainly his antiquity says something to us – its textual permanence cannot be entirely accidental after so many centuries of oral elaboration – surely it is not merely a lesson in temperance – and even though Kirk, in his famous “The Songs of Homer”, chalks the whole Elpenor episode up to a “structural anomaly” in the poem, placed there in order to distract us from the lack of any real motivation for Odysseus’ visit to Hades, this “anomaly” succeeds in bringing to the foreground the opaque ones, the species of the opaque, without having that particular trait taken away from them. A flash of something that absolutely does not flash. It only falls. In truth, the fact that Elpenor’s appearance is taken to be a structural anomaly by some scholars only makes him even more interesting in the broader scheme of things. In the general context of the poem, Elpenor cuts an emaciated figure – remembered by Odysseus at the court of the Phaeacians in the midst of his first-person account of the misadventures he had to endure after leaving Troy, Elpenor is at the head of an episode that conjoins the comic to the terrifying and instigates a certain specimen of reader to fill in the biographical blanks. It was precisely the idea of a biographical blank, repeated time and time again in workshop situations, which seems to have motivated R. the most – R. being a transsexual visual artist currently living in São Paulo. Elpenor, in R’s text, suffers an invasion in the Elpenor sign, being penetrated, shot through with the adjective “minor” and morphing into Elpeminor. R, however, refuses to carry over this “minor” sign to Elpenor’s physical build, which would have made for a facile solution. Instead, in the following line, also the last one, R. is quick to point out that he must have been over six feet tall. I distinctly remember the enthusiasm I felt while listening to this kind of counterstatement, as well as the strength of the scene that was playing out before the lot of us: R., who had absconded with her body from the commonplace of bodies in general, fiercely and rightly ridicules the Apollonian body, the heroic body, opting to make it barbarous by intruding upon its very name. Another interesting case that rechristens, perverts, continues and conditions this mythological continuity for Elpenor to a perversion in the realm of signs is the case of poet and translator C. A., who, in a classic Duchampian move, appropriated a poem titled “Elpenor” by contemporary Portuguese poet José Miguel Silva and limited herself to changing the name Elpenor to Elpenora.

4) Interesting cases are by and large the majority, but I would like to meditate briefly on two more, because of the reflections they might occasion regarding the malleability of myth, its processes of actualization and a few formal questions. For T., an American conceptual artist who also specializes in safety practices for artworkers facing political persecution around the world, Elpenor’s story was transmitted in purely oral fashion, since, at that particular moment, we did not have an English translation of the poem handy. I was especially interested in the results, since, with T., an ulterior moment of textual engagement would not be possible due to the language barrier. I wondered what components of the tale would stick, cleansed as they were to the max, and how he would rework them. The moment we began sharing our texts, T. presented a poem in which Elpenor did not figure nominally, none of the episode’s particulars were immediately identifiable, a purposefully gossipy tone predominated, and the proposed “I” sought, if not to order, at least to sequence in a vibrant manner circumstances of such an intimate nature that at times the text read slightly impenetrable. Slightly opaque. And then I thought: opaque. And then I thought: gossipy. During all of T’s exercises, I had the impression that the world he was putting before us was a world of voices. The “I” did not play protagonist – it dramatized itself, instead, as being bombarded by the most various recollections, associations, anecdotes. It was a world of voices and asides. An oscillating world of precise referents. A world the group knew nothing about, but that unfurled before us with utter clarity. In this first reading round, it was already possible to detect that T’s mode was precisely the elision of an axis – the “murder” of the hero become the murder of a traditionally dramaturgical conception of the poetic text or even of the Romanesque mode (of which the Odyssey can be deemed a precursor, at least according to Jaeger), which tends to run with a given theme until it fatally funnels into a denouement or climax. T’s text was perhaps the most radical interpretation, from a formal standpoint, of this forceful effacement of the hero-figure from the epic scheme in favour of a minor approach. Devoid of orthodox feats and bearing no sign of restitution, the poem gave rise to a most important discussion on a practice T. himself called “queering the text”. While T. expounded on this mode of writing, I could not help remembering poet Ana Cristina Cesar’s work and her constant “play” between intimacy and opaqueness, between delivery – from the point of view of signification but also of a physical surrender – and withdrawal. The experience of deviation, of a textual practice which places itself in opposition to patriarchal writing, is formally grafted onto the text by way of an illogicalness over which there never ceases to hover a certain aura of “scandal”. But this promise of a reveal is never to be fulfilled. One skates over the idea of intimacy, the waiting, one can only skate over personhood. But at no time are we entirely convinced of the text’s confessional nature or even of the possibility of a confessional text per se. It is this unfulfillment that makes T’s world vibrant and multiple. It is this bargaining, this irreducibility of the text to an unambiguous reality, that function as the lines of force of the text – translated stylistically into the intimate illogicalness Ana Cristina Cesar so rigorously practiced, along with her refusal of linearity and her disconcerting vulnerability to sudden memory (to voices) and the accumulation of not-quite-hierarchized events that seem to connect to memoir or diaries.

“I present to you the most discreet
Woman in the world: the one that has no secrets.”

5) In a different workshop-situation, before an interlocutor who seemed to be having some difficulty grasping what this first exercise was about, I thought it a good idea to list – both for him and the rest of the class – some particularly interesting results I had come across since the beginning of my activities as a professional instigator of sorts. I then proceeded to tell them about P.C., a singer-songwriter who composed a lyric poem espousing Elpenor’s voice addressing us from limbo. His version – in which Elpenor had always been secretly enamoured of Odysseus’ – was impressive not only because of the unexpected romantic overtones – the style, however, was epic –, but also because of the subtle mirroring P.C. created vis-à-vis Penelope. One awaits her husband’s return so the status quo and domestic bliss might be re-established – the other one awaits cremation in the hands of the man he has always loved secretly. While telling about P.C.’s take on the exercise, I was surprised to hear a remark from another interlocutor who was just outside my field of vision: “Better not to even try, then”. I had had more than one occasion to note that this particular interlocutor, whenever faced with interesting results that were not hers, would always contrive to find a way to manifest resentment. During our last group session, I grew impatient at this and told her that sort of environment was not propitious to competitiveness. Telling these stories, commemorating them, making visible and known examples of near artistic brilliance from relative newcomers who are typically extremely apologetic about their own work can only discourage those who have already been hopelessly poisoned by the inherited notions of heroism we are actively trying to combat in the atmosphere of a creative writing workshop. To think about Elpenor is to think about how he survived the siege of Troy and all the grotesque mishaps that he passed through anonymously until his arrival at Circe’s island. If Elpenor can lead us to a method, a mindset, a worldview, then they must take into the account the many and sundry opportunities for glorious death that were offered the seafarer in question during his ultimately incomplete nostos – opportunities for straying, for utter forgetfulness, for permanence amid unknown peoples, barbarians or otherwise – opportunities passed only so that he could die the most pathetic death conceivable. An Elpenor methodology must then celebrate chance, slapstick and a lack of favour from the Gods. It must not fall into the trap of setting up an anti-hero in relation to which burlesque figures of grandeur parade about. It is a question, I believe, of defending opacity and the fundamental, nearly holy loneliness of the unexceptional.

How LUV is research, in part (part 1)

[* For the LUV site, this is part one of a set. Let’s call it the Elpenor Set. See part two, here.]

The purpose of this ‘entry’ is to introduce Ismar Tirelli Neto. I’m writing a book right now. It’s called Variations in Worldmaking. I can’t wait until it’s finished because it might be driving me crazy. It’s like birthing a set of gremlins … or so it presently seems. The book covers the span of my three durational, multi-stakeholder, rights-focused works. freeDimensional was a ten-year focus on free expression, artist safety and shelter. Lanchonete.org was a site-specific (São Paulo) five-year focus on the right to the city. And, Luv ’til it Hurts is a two-year focus on HIV and stigma. I chose to begin the book in the same time period as the two years of LUV, July 2018-2020. I thought that one process might help the other. At least in my head. They are both (art) works. I am applying a methodology for durational, multi-stakeholder, rights-focused projects that has been developed over the course of freeDimensional, Lanchonete.org and in giving support to other projects, in the making of Luv ’til it Hurts. I think the same can be said for the making of Lanchonete.org drawing on lessons learned from freeDimensional, but I was not concurrently writing criticism in that instance. Ishmar is working with me on the book, and also features in the book. We started conjuring these relations during a poetry workshop he offered at São João Farm Residency in Rio State (Brasil), and now we meet weekly for a writing class. Below is Ishmar’s ‘opener’ from an excerpt of the book in which I describe its 20 characters. 

After reading his LUV intro, I hope you’ll check out Some tenets of Elpenor thought , a text I refer to in my research. When we met in July 2019 I was already thinking about the role of ‘hero’ as it pertains to the art world. And, after we set on working together, I noticed it coming up again in a Whatsapp discussion with egosumfrank (Part 1 and Part IV) and MetaMorphineFuriosaXXX, one of our esteemed ‘coalition’ members. Therefore I mention Ismar’s work in these as well as a previous LUV piece, Character Development à la Proust

***

I met Ismar Tirelli Neto at São João Farm Residency in Rio State. He offered a poetry / writing workshop on his ideas around Elpenor, the youngest of Odysseus’ co-patriots. He is building up a body of thought and writing around Elpenor and other anti-heroes. We spoke of a quest for methodological understanding, and too about levels of protectiveness of text. I am not protecting the text right now. I am letting it flow rather unbounded. The numbered characters are a parameter as are the set of ‘devices’ I’ll share next. The characters and devices intersect in a matrix. I am coming up with this approach and language while also asking Ismar about his approach and the literary form it takes. We are both attracted to the Elpenor character and able to discuss it in terms of contemporary politics and a natural tendency of the art market to both crave and manufacture heroes. We ask ourselves together how does one share observations, texts, gestures, forms and/or criticism under today’s societal and market-enforced conditions on expression. In making a durational project, the idea cannot be immediately revealed. The idea is becoming, but already imagined. There is no need to rush it. The timespan is tailored for it to have enough time to fructify. This holding back as conscious effort brings ones awareness to territorialisms, competition, ranking, showboating, acceleration, pedigree-toting tendencies that can result in hero-making by default. The market needs the heroes because they are brand names, and that sells in primary and secondary art markets as well as through affiliation. Power and money are traded along these lines. It is not often that these resources can be convened and deployed for a social urgency. The market cannot both destabilize and stabilize in perfect ways. If art wants to make a radical work or gesture, it must first pass muster with the relative patrons who hold the purse strings to the semio-capital that BIFO speaks of. The same resources may be enough to resolve social ills or convene urgent conversations. It would first need to be configured or sequenced in a way that these social priorities held priority over sales and relation to market. Let’s face it: such a set-up is very rare. So, what of the ‘art hero’ role, and can it be bypassed while still offering up big ideas for the future. And to a public.

Capitalismo Viral

[*Bruno Mendonça e Felipe Caprestano – Terra Falsa (parte do projeto “Nenhuma Intenção Revolucionária”)]

O uso da palavra vírus para além do campo das ciências biológicas teve início a partir da década de 1980 com o desenvolvimento da cultura hacker, assim como ao longo da mesma década foi sendo assumido por outras áreas.

Essa passagem conceitual de um objeto estudado pela área das ciências
biológicas para outras disciplinas corresponde de forma bastante direta ao que os linguistas George Lakoff e Mark Johnson irão abordar como “metáfora conceitual”, ou seja, a atualização cognitiva de uma ideia. Essa atualização corresponde também a uma atualização cultural, social e político-econômica que ressignifica uma palavra, expressão ou conceito para dar conta de um novo contexto.

Neste sentido a palavra vírus vem para dar conta de uma série de movimentos que estavam acontecendo na passagem do final da década de 1970 para o início da década de 1980. Neste momento, o mundo passava por um processo de sofisticação do capitalismo envolto a uma nova realidade tecnocrática, comunicacional e midiática gerando mudanças culturais significativas. O surgimento do vírus do HIV neste período, talvez seja um dos fatores que mais tenha se relacionado com todas essas questões, não só como “sintoma” dessas transformações mas também como dispositivo, complexificando definitivamente noções biopolíticas.

É justamente a partir deste momento que alguns artistas e pesquisadores irão se debruçar sobre esta concepção de “vírus” de forma mais ampla. No campo das artes e da cultura isso moveu diversas frentes de trabalho e produções artísticas em que o HIV era usado como vértice para uma discussão maior sobre este “novo” momento.

Em todo o mundo as comunidades artísticas se mobilizaram – o que gerou o surgimento de novos formatos, linguagens e modus operandi. No campo das artes visuais, por exemplo, vimos nesta fase uma grande quantidade de projetos que tomaram os meios de comunicação de massa como suporte, a partir de ações de mídia tática, hackeamento, propostas de ruído, entre outras.

No contexto brasileiro, o pesquisador Arlindo Machado apresenta uma consideração interessante sobre tais estratégias artísticas (e que aqui particularmente eram agravadas pela Ditadura e por uma crise política em curso):

[…] as estruturas de poder, que subjazem por baixo das formas aparentemente inócuas de nossas sociedades, não tomam a forma de um discurso racional e distanciado, mas são produzidas com os mesmos instrumentos e meios com que essas estruturas são construídas. Trata-se, portanto, de um ataque por dentro, de uma contaminação interna, que faz com que essas estruturas deixem momentaneamente de funcionar como habitualmente se espera, para que as possamos enxergar por outro viés, preferencialmente crítico.
(MACHADO, 2004 pg.08).

Como comentado acima, o vírus do HIV, envolto a estes processos globais sócio-políticos, econômicos e culturais afetou também diretamente de forma transdisciplinar outros grupos, como o próprio ambiente acadêmico. Pesquisadores e intelectuais de diversas áreas passaram a analisar este novo contexto tomando o vírus do HIV como problemática.

Um dos pesquisadores inserido nestas proposições que trouxe uma
abordagem interessante no meu ponto de vista, foi o finlandês Jussi Parikka. Professor das faculdades de Winchester na Inglaterra e Turku na Finlândia, Parikka irá realizar diversos ensaios sobre o que ele denominará de “Capitalismo Viral”.

Tomando o vírus do HIV como um agente importante de alteração no
entendimento da biopolítica, Parikka desenvolveu uma espécie de
contextualização histórica a partir de uma “arqueologia das mídias”,
exemplificando como o corpo se tornou commodity a partir da sofisticação do capitalismo (como descrito anteriormente).

Métodos cada vez mais refinados e eficientes de desumanização e alienação fez o “Capitalismo Viral” se tornar irreversível. O corpo como commodity vem do aperfeiçoamento desse capitalismo em saber manejar uma espécie de imaterialidade, ou seja, produzindo paranoia, criando uma nova/outra relação de produção e consumo. Sendo assim, o “Capitalismo Viral” – se o relacionarmos à lógica do HIV funcionaria assim: Existe uma cooptação da “doença”, criando assim sistemas de manutenção desse “novo produto”. Manter uma espécie de “falsa panaceia” é interessante para continuar com a “lei da oferta e da procura”. Na verdade se formos pensar vários outros estratagemas da vida contemporânea funcionam desta maneira, todos atravessando o corpo.

Parikka diz: A noção de capitalismo viral resulta de uma ideia do capitalismo como capaz de modulação contínua e heterogênese. […] O poder do capitalismo reside na sua capacidade de apropriar-se do exterior, como uma parte de si mesmo. Em seu funcionamento, o capitalismo é uma máquina abstrata de continuar o novo, (re) inventando-se o tempo todo. […] O capitalismo é como uma máquina pegajosa […] É capaz de modular afeto, ações, práticas e discursos para que se possa obter valor até mesmo de riscos, acidentes e insegurança. Como tal, pode-se dizer que uma ideia do Capitalismo Viral refere-se ao poder de atração que o capitalismo baseia seu poder de marketing, este é o poder de afetar a chamar-nos para criar mundos em que nos sentimos naturais para viver. Este é o poder estético do afeto e da atração. (PARIKKA, 2011).

Conspirador ou não, melancólico ou não, distópico ou não – isso são análises individuais – porém a proposta apresentada neste texto é uma visão compartilhada de uma parte da comunidade LGBTQIA+ que exerce a militância e o ativismo em relação às políticas do HIV. A consciência desse corpo commodity e suas implicações gera novas possibilidades de subjetivação, atuações bio e micropolíticas além de novas estratégias. Como diz o artista Felipe Caprestano (importante agente cultural neste cenário): “SALVE-ME QUEM PODER!”

____________________________________________

1. Bruno Mendonça é artista, pesquisador, educador e produtor cultural. Formado em Letras pelo Instituto Superior de Educação de São Paulo (ISESP) é também Mestre em Comunicação pela PUC-SP na linha de Processos de Criação na Comunicação e na Cultura. Desde 2005 desenvolve uma produção como artista-etc. Por meio de performances, zines e mostras, cria ambientes e plataformas – muitas vezes colaborativas e temporárias – para discutir e problematizar não só o meio artístico, mas também sexualidade, gênero, ou quaisquer categorias fixas da cultura. Utilizando-se de dispositivos variados, seus trabalhos criam uma espécie de rede narrativa e discursiva, complexificando as relações entre performance e performatividade. Desde 2010 atua como professor. Foi membro do Grupo de Crítica e Curadoria do Centro Cultural São Paulo entre 2013 e 2016 e da Fundação Bienal de São Paulo.

– Bruno Mendonça
Felipe de Carvalho , Delação

1001+ Japanese fighter pilots

I vomited tonight … earlier today.

I had taken an ecstasy pill. I may have used a couple other things as well. I’m a Taurus ‘control freak’, I’m told. So, while the idea of drugging up for going out may seem a bit careless, I also monitor my anti-depression medication, and not so long ago decided with my doctor to change my HIV meds. 

As I said in ‘we use drugs‘, or was it ‘drugs‘ .. but that yes, we do use drugs. Or so it seems. 

I once read that X was made for Japanese fighter pilots, maybe those who bombed Pearl Harbor. And, indeed tonight at Dando there were 1001+ Japanese fighter pilots. George and I were there. He’d been out before with a friend F at Zig Duplex. It was so nice to see them. I’d stayed home to rest and write. It was rather productive so I decided at about 4am to go meet the guys. I like F. but he is not so sure if I like how much he likes George. It’s ok. I’m fine with it. I actually think you are a great influence on him. So there. 

[*Dando is where we distributed the cloth hearts with our pup, W.]

There were a lot of people at the last Dando of the year, and my luv affair with Teatro Mars only grows each time I dance there. So, I found George and we drank lots of water. But I was still feeling a bit queasy even after sitting together outside in the smoking area. 

We went back in and the moment I entered the heat of the dance floor / main floor (the ‘dark room’ is/are the balconies in this old Brutalist gem) I knew I would vomit. I don’t enjoy vomiting and am not one to ‘try’ to vomit. But on occasion this is the best thing one can do with a drug is not working right. Or perhaps working (as my X did and currently at the time of writing is), but still making ya queasy. 

I ran back out and downstairs. They wanted to take my wristband as I exited, but I didn’t allow it. I knew where I wanted to vomit, but there was someone sitting there, a couple. Nope, will go further toward the gas station where the nice trans man attendant lets me wash my face afterwards (he’s helped before:). I was already feeling better when I returned to the party. I found George with G. a friend with whom we have sex and generally care about. We are all quite sweet on each other. He’s been through a rough break-up lately. We’ve been over to his house and witnessed rather careless behavior. Not just the crystal meth rationalization; garotos de programa (sex workers); the full break-down of his ex-boyfriend in his apartment all the way up to slitting of wrists and a wildly articulated ‘pain’ wall left behind by R., his ex; attracting a stalker; recent testicular injury from keeping your cock ring on too long; and the noticeable reduction of your entertainment center (selling household appliances is a pretty strong sign, dear) and cooking of Ketamine as if it’s breakfast. 

He told George when asking if we were going to the party that he’d been on a sex binge for 20 days. Given how handsome he is, this is not so hard to imagine. But then again, I would not have sex with him given some of his company and habits anymore. He would have to ‘clean it up’ a bit for me. George has different standards, and well we sometimes do and sometimes don’t agree. 

Right when I arrived to the party, I saw G. paying entrance a few people ahead of me. We gave each other a big hug. I pulled him close and whispered in his ear, George says you’ve been having a ‘marathon’ … I pulled back and asked him ‘G, is this a cry for help.’ No, no no … Im I’m .. my my… 

G, babe, I hope its like that. I do. You deserve a road trip with your mom. You deserve to recharge after a heavy year. And, babe, if you would ever like to talk outside of ‘all this’ … please come over. We miss you. 

George walked all the way back home looking for me when I must have been in the service station bathroom. He’s a really sweet guy, that one. 

Oh yeah, short shorts (blue) and a matte gray sequin top with red trim and vent back. I bought it from a designer who makes tv productions in South Africa, so it’s one of a kind. But rather hot on the dance floor. I took it off. Who am I?

Oh yeah, I remember:) I am being particularly cunty tonight .. this morning:))

xot

اكيد فى امل (THERE IS ALWAYS HOPE)

[Abazar Hamid was forced to leave Sudan for singing peace songs during its civil war and the Darfur conflict. I met him when I was working for freeDimensional in Cairo (Egypt) through a collaboration with the Townhouse Gallery called TADAMON (solidarity) that organized with Cairo’s various refugee communities. Cairo is where Abazar first went into exile. Over the years Abazar and I have kept up, and we’re now working on a safe (cultural) space project back in Khartoum. I love to hear him sing Bob Marley, and so the other day I asked him if he’s ever sang about HIV/AIDS. Of course he has … he sent us this song اكيد فى امل (THERE IS ALWAYS HOPE). Enjoy, xo Todd]


اكيد فى امل

THERE IS ALWAYS HOPE


مهما الدنيا تقسى عليك
ويضلم نورا فى عينيك
مد ايديك
اكيد حتصل

THERE IS ALWAYS HOPE
WHEN THE WORLD BECAME HARD ON YOU
AND DARKINS IT’S LIGHT ON YOU
REACH OUT YOUR HANDS FOR SURE YOU MAKE IT
WHEN YOU REMAIN IN US
AND WE REMAIN IN YOU
WORLD BECAME AHOME TO LIVE IN
NOT APLACE TO PERIC
WITH ALITTLE STRUGGLE  

THERE IS ALWAYS HOPE
انت معانا ونحن معاك
ببقى العالم مكان لحياة ما مكان لهلاك
بشويه عمل
اكيد فى امل

What do a Sudanese Mom Search the Internet for?

Sudanese like other people of this planet, search for many things, some are really important researches and of course there are other things that are also important, …,etc!
For me I am a Sudanese, I search every day about jobs for Home Based or Remote Arabic Web Content Writers. Secondly in order come searches for guides, guide to write, guide to sew, guide to solve children problems, guide to education, guide to learn, and a lot of self learning projects and subjects. Other times I research about home remedies for health issues, skin and hair care. I also search about easy and quick recipes that is good for old people, toddlers and people with health issues.
I search for uses of a word, or a meaning of another, film reviews, book reviews, and names of actors, actresses and scientists or doctors.
Some times I search for good erotic books and stories, I look sometimes for free photos to use for my numerous profiles on micro-service web platforms. I search for photos of cosmetics and medications, and children, or adult fashion designs.

I search for educating songs for my children, or a beautiful song that I listened to recently or heard about, I search the YouTube for new Kasha and Masha clips, it is very nice and funny yet meaningful Russian silent cartoon series. I really recommend every one watch it, though I download it for children but I love it my self enjoy watching Kasha and Masha over and over with my little girls!

Sometimes in the past I used to search the internet for new Henna styles and patterns, I love Sudanese Henna drawings and consider it one of the genius feminine arts that women in Sudan are practicing in daily and common basis.
Long time ago I used to spend long hours on the internet to read poetry and prose, in Arabic, may be soon I will be doing that, and also will search for English poetry, so as to improve my English level (It will be my lifetime task!), I am dreaming of adding learning French to my daily hectic activities, Oh daily activities, it is another long story, will write about in a different post! I wish you have enjoyed reading this one, please forgive me for any dullness, mistakes and imperfections, one of the most important reasons I created this blog is to practice writing in English, but practice makes “mistakes” as well as Perfection!

______________________________________________________

Originally posted on October 29th, 2014, on: https://omaimae.wordpress.com/2014/10/29/what-do-a-sudanese-mom-search-the-internet-for/

drugs

We take drugs. 

A colleague of mine, Carué Contreiras gives away spices and herbs in his HIV med bottles. Artist Kairon Liu ( 劉仁凱 ) makes portraits in which he asks pill bottles to be among other memorabilia (signs of life). I luv mine. 

But actually I’m talking about party drugs and entrée to harder ones. 

George and I were packing our things as the bottle of liquid Ketamine arrived to the party. I had been coerced into chipping in on it, but didn’t plan to use the powder Gabriel would cook down from the liquid. 

Ketamine (or Key) mixed with (or used around same time of) cocaine is called CalvinKlein.

I had noticed a couple of the new guys with crystal meth pipes near the kitchen. As we prepared to leave, George asked me if I’d taken a hit. I told him no, and asked if he had. No, he said. We left. 

I am worried about meth in general. Like for people. Gay people. Country people without jobs who cook in the woods where moonshine steels used to be. Lonely people. Depressed people. 

I am renting out my apartment in NYC and I jokingly told a recent query (a gay guy I know) that he could feel right at home … except that if I got a ‘whiff’ of him smoking crystal in my place, then I’d fly up and … It was a fun/threat way to explain my limit. When we met I explained that on two occasions in NYC recently a guy had come over and not let me know he was ‘packing’ (a meth pipe) … one wanted to smoke there and the other was way far gone. On this latter occasion, he was much bigger than me and it took me a long while to get him out of the apartment. I’m not a small guy, but this scared me. It ended ok. But I doubt I’m the only one to whom that’s happened. No, for sure I’m not. Gabe just told me a similar story from here in São Paulo. 

So, let’s be clear, there ain’t no etiquette with crystal use. Like, just try to reason, and see where that get’s ya … guuuuuurrrlll!!!

Leo sent me that picture of crystal up top, also from here in São Paulo.

When I was in Mexico DF for the UNESCO talk I noticed on Grindr that the diamond emoticon was used a lot, suggesting crystal usage. T or ‘tina’ are used a lot in NYC, but this diamond is more universal. However, I think in São Paulo the diamond means other things too. Lighting Bolt is for cocaine also called ‘padê’ and ‘tk’ … like people be getting tekando, yo.  

I’ve been thinking and stacking words around on meth since that night I felt scared. Some of them are here on the black site

Both of the São Paulo guys I mention in the ‘black site’ poem told me they picked up the habit in the US. 

I saw the Sertão show at MAM here in São Paulo and a piece by Raphael Escobar that maps out the drugs used in the Center and broader São Paulo, and where to buy them (or where they were bought). This piece inspired me more than his crack pipe piece at Sesc 24 de Maio. 

Drugs. We use them. 

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